Last week I officially started my training for the year, and I was surprisingly happy with how it turned out. I came down with a cold on Monday, and I’m just now getting over it today (Sunday). So, my week definitely started a little rocky. On Tuesday I had a hard tempo workout, but I was still able to hit the times I was supposed to. Wednesday was interesting as I got back into the sprint mentality and sped through a few sets of 60m runs. By Friday I was feeling pretty good about myself. Friday is our hard workout day, and I went into it feeling both anxious about how it would go, and excited to see just where my body was really at. My running partner that day was my friend, Maya, and she was pretty anxious, too, but we pumped ourselves up and got after it.
My last week at the All-African Games sped by much faster than the first one. Once Sunday hit, I barely had time to look for WiFi or watch any other event that wasn’t happening at the track.
The 100 preliminaries and semi-finals were scheduled to be on the first day – the first round early in the morning and the second later in the evening. This was the first day that the temperature outside actually reached a point where I could positively say it was hot. Even the ever-present fog lifted that day, and left the sun beating down on us during warm-ups…
If I’m being honest, I’ve probably gone through this in my head too many times to count, but have never had the courage to actually sit and write everything down. The only reason you’re actually reading this now is because my friend, Brandi, encouraged me to share my story. This was and will probably be the hardest thing I’ve ever sat down to write. Here’s your warning: this post is extremely long. It’s definitely more of an essay than one of my typical blog posts, but I knew that if I was going to write about this, then I wanted to write about it, including all the gory details that I’ve always been too embarrassed to share with anybody.
“People who succeed have momentum. The more they succeed, the more they want to succeed, and the more they find a way to succeed. Similarly, when someone is failing, the tendency is to get on a downward spiral that can even become a self-fulfilling prophecy.”
If you follow me on Tumblr, then you’ll know that I love quotes. I think there’s a quote out there to describe whatever it is you’re feeling at whatever point you are in your life. Whether you’re at your lowest or highest, there’s always a quote you can find that you can relate to. I actually have an app on my phone that gives me daily quotes that I read every morning to get me going.
The quote for today is motivational in a different sense. Now that I’m a senior in college I reflect back on my years at BU more and more. During my time in college, specifically my freshman year, I was in the downward spiral described in the quote. I won’t go into much detail right now, but I was stuck in a cycle of failure. Digging my way up from there was, and sometimes still is, one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.
I’ve been extremely lucky, though. I have my family, my friends, teammates, and coaches to support me. I’ve always been one to keep my private life private, so most of those people have no idea how much they’ve helped and affected me, but I’ll always appreciate them for it. (For those that may be reading this right now, thank you!)
Now I’m finding more and more that my momentum has shifted upwards, and I am giving it my all to keep it that way. I guess the point of this is just to let you know that things may go wrong and you may seem to be stuck in a downward cycle, but there’s always hope for you to turn things around and work your way back up. I promise.
Have a good Monday, everyone! Good luck!